Weird LA.

I googled "weird people in LA" and clicked on the images. These are a few things that came up.

I mean, sure. But let's analyze this whole thing. This is a mug shot and he has dolphins tattooed on his eyebrows. Doesn't exactly scream "Hey, DON"T take a shot at my balloon knot in the shower!"

So maybe it's the whole hermaphrodite thing that got Jamie Lee Curtis in this category on google. But I think it's the fact that she did a movie with Lindsey Lohan and DIDN'T call the whole Liz and Dick thing then! I mean, obvies, right?!?!

Look, I've lived in LA for at least 48 hours and I can tell you there's nothing weird about this super skinny, way-too-tan dude. It's LA!! If you're even 10 lbs over on the scale, they kick you out of this county and you have to live in Barstow until you pull your shit together! I was given and official written warning, so I have 3 days to lose 67 pounds.

HAHAHAAAAHAHAAAA! The oranges look like balls! That's why they're weird...

Is it me, or does this guys have boobs?

I think the only weird thing about his pic is that he's actually spending time with his kid.

That guy in the blue is obvs contemplating offing himself. Or thinking about "Gremlins 2: The New Batch". Either way, he's sad as shit!

This LA a-hole still has a flip phone! Weird!!

One word: Lady Gaga

Farmers. Only.

When I was in Georgia on our LA trip we stayed with a couple of friends in their cabin. This ad came on TV. It's for a dating site for Farmers Only. The tag was "City Folk Just Don't Get It". http://www.farmersonly.com/

It made me want to look into other super specific dating sights. Here's what I found! 1.http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ Meet an inmate! Then you can be trapped just like they are!

2.http://www.gamingpassions.com/ Like to play games? Not emotionally of course, but with 20 sided dice? Here you go!

3.http://www.datemypet.com/ Do you love animals? No, seriously. Do you?

4.http://www.ourtime.com/ Listen, you've been through it. War, famine, the last supper. You want some guilt free, old person nookie! Get it here!

5.http://www.datingforhippies.com/ My mom would love this site.

6.http://www.sciconnect.com/ My dad would love this site.

7.http://www.singleartistdating.com/ My brother would love this site.

8.http://www.funnypassions.com/ My husband would be into this. I'm having it destroyed. Now.

9.http://www.lonelysoul.net/ This is a site for lonely people. But isn't that what the internet is for anyway? Oh well! Hey lonely! Get in there!

10.http://www.truckerpassions.com/ If you're on the road and want to wear someones cap with pride, this is your place!

No matter who you are or what you want to bone, there's a way to get it! Go find your someone people. God speed!

Man Stuff

My husband, Nick, and I just made a 3200 mile trip from New York to LA without a incident. We didn't fight, we didn't bitch at each other, we didn't gorge ourselves in junk food, we didn't pick up a hitchhiker and them murder them, we didn't get into any gambling or dog fighting rings, we didn't get drunk and get matching tattoos of 1985 Madonna on our tits. Nothing. We just drove and talked and learned about each other. My husband learned that when I was 20 I had to testify against an ex boyfriend in court. Interesting! I learned that my husband has a vast, VAST, EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE of truck stops. Which one of those things are weirder, I challenge you! My husband is handsome and educated. Funny and smart. How in Gods name did he come to know so much about trucker culture? He knew that they can shower there at these stops, and that sometimes there are places for them to nap and watch movies. That there are places where other truckers can meet up and mingle. There are trucker mixers. There are signals they send each other. He told me he once spent $50 dollars at a stop and that none of it was on gas, but truck stop stuff. What kind of stuff you ask? Well, magnets and apparel and wipes and beef...Trucker stuff! I'm not saying that the fact that my husband has knowledge of this stuff turns me off or that for a second I question his class, but am I worried that his mid life crisis might involve an 18 wheeler? You bet your sweet caboose on it.

LA (gagged and) Bound!

Oh man. Wow. Hmmmm. It's been...a while. I know, I know. I'm sorry! I've been super busy! With what you ask? Well, lotsa stuff. I'm MARRIED for one! Yeah, I know!Here's a pic of me on my wedding day with my brother Brody!

Don't I look nice? I was soooo drunk! Just kidding....sort of. I did a ton of shows as Delilah Dix. She crazy! Here's what she looks like now!

HAHA! Just kidding! That's me at my bachelorette party! Although they look very similar...Okay, here's Miss Dix!

That was her in her Ars Nova run called Delilah Dix-Americas Showgirl! It was amazing and fun and scary, but what a great show! I got to work with my team of Dix, Peter Michael Marino and Cody Owen Stine. One of my many, many requirements of working together is that my team needs three names, otherwise I don't trust them. I've had quite the year booking a few commercials and doing some great shows. Being a part of two PIT house improv teams and meeting some lovely life changing folks. But now...drum roll please! WE'RE MOVING TO LA! We're on a road trip making our way to Hollywood! Where I've heard you make it big! Or become a prostitute! Either way, I'm going. I'll actually keep up with this blog along the way with pics and quips, but for this sign up enjoy the picture of this adorable puppy.

xoxo, Amy "LA Bound" Cobb