Smiling

I love green tea. Specifically iced green tea from Starbucks. Unsweetened. I don't especially like Starbucks otherwise, and no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Starbucks is destroying our culture of Mom and Pop businesses, blah, blah, blah. No, I just think their coffee is shit. But the iced green tea is exceptional.

I just got back from a gig last night in Hollywood, Florida. I'm tired, and may or may not have the swine flu. I thought a nice green tea would set me right. I walk to the nearest Starbucks two blocks away, and I'm still pleased it's that far away and not in my building at this point. I get into the long line, but I have time, no worries. There is a young man in front of my, maybe 29, 30. He's talking on his cell phone. I'm not tuning into what he's saying. I'm not particularly interested frankly. This guy looks like the type who has frequent discussions about Hedge funds and the Republican party. I'm casually eyeing the CD cover that they're playing that day. Maxwell. Hmmm.
"Well, just know that my cock is smiling."
What? Maxwell? I'm going to buy this CD.
"Hahahaha...yes, I'm going to punish you tonight you dirty slut. Hahahaha."
Well, I never. I'll take 2 of these CD's!
"You'd better start warming up that mouth of yours skank."
Okay. Really? No. It can't be. It is!! It's the hedge fund Republican. Talking dirty. In a STARBUCKS! At 8:28 in the morning! On the Upper East Side!!!!
YES! Oh God, I knew I loved this city. And I also know that our society is on the verge of total collapse. Is this talk in public okay now? Maybe it's only okay in Starbucks. Now I'm glued to this guy like Cheney to a shotgun.
"Okay, okay...great. See you then."
NO! Don't hang up! I'm almost to the counter...and, ugh, yes canIgetanicedgreenteaunsweetendventipleaseTHANKS! I don't have time to interrupt my listening for this ordering crap!
"Okay, take care. What, yes...ofcourse I'll bring some wine. What are we drinking these days? Pinot Noir. Wow, I don't even know who you are anymore...hahaha"
Oh no. I imagined it, didn't I? I have a fever. Oh Christ, I'm burning up, and imagined this preppy white guy talking dirty in a Starbucks on the Upper East Side. I should call 911.
"Okay...okay....okay...Can't wait to fuck you! Talk to you later."

Ahhhh, I'm okay, you're okay, we're all okay. I do have a slight fever, but it's not enough to have me call an ambulance or not go to work. This white collared, blonde haired man in his late 20's/early 30's was talking openly about banging someone he has little to no respect for in a coffee shop at 8:28am, and the world goes round and round. Now excuse me, I have some green tea to enjoy.